quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize