oh god the rape fog is back!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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