seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
