im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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