I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize