Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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