I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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