I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
