wat bout pragnant strippers??
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize