so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
