I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
