The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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