think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
