i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
