too bad you live with your parents still
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
