Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
