yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
