can u get pink eye on your cock?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
soo... how was my night?
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