I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
