I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize