wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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