He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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