Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
