I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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