Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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