Sponge bath it is.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
