laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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