your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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