Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
