dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
