yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
