I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
