whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
