I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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