Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
