TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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