i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
