Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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