So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
