it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!