Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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