I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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