she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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