You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Pooping to opera.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
