I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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