i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?