Already got asked if we're dating
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
