It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
