Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize