You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
