I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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