Jerry, you need to find god
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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