My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
