Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
