after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
