I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
